Inspired by a little girl we know who was convinced that “Arthur Luton King” once preached that black children and white children could not share a drinking fountain, we asked about the most tenacious “fact” you’ve had to wrestle from your kids.

Here is a selection of answers submitted by our readers.

myths in herpetology

Among the many things I never expected to learn in mothering was the extent, variety, odd predispositions, and little-known facts about the reptile family. I, who hates snakes, was given a son who accurately files away reptile trivia like I do school artwork.

Which was why I did a doubletake when he explained the nomenclature of a small, brown snake, a species he often unearths in our yard, to his friends. “They call him a decay snake because when you get him out of the ground, he smells like something decaying.”

In my unchosen role of snake expert—I am the webmaster when we go online to identify and read about scores of reptiles—I corrected him. “Well, actually, its DeKay, spelled D-E-K-A-Y. I think it may be after the herpetologist who discovered him.”

Oh, the heavens rent and the earth shook as my son, who likes to be the expert on everything, disagreed. No, he knew it was because of the smell. He had read this. It was logical. When his insistence and resistance swelled out of proportion, I faded away and let him work it out.

It is a full year later. There is another DeKay snake in the garden, and he offhandedly comments: “You know, some people think they are called decay snakes because they can smell like decay. But really, its because that was the name of the scientist who identified him.”

Not even a self-conscious glance in my direction.

—Dee Dee Risher, Philadelphia, PA

 

behold the rainbow

My oldest son loves science and applies his own brand of scientific facts to every aspect of life. His first and longest held declaration began when he was two, and it concerned the role of testicles. His theory was that he drank water and after it flowed through his body in a confusing variety of ways, it finally dripped into his testicles where it then swirled around in a rainbow of colors until he shot it out of his penis. I once tried to set the record straight. He looked at me, as I'm sure he will many more times, with a mix of pity and exasperation, shook his head at my ignorance, and walked away.

—Edie Nockels, Englewood, CO

 

the forgotten founding father

Both of my children have pledged their alligence to the to the republic for Richard Stands. My partner and I joke that it’s downright sad that such an important figure in American history has been relegated to a footnote in the Pledge of Allegiance.

—Heather McDonald, Cleveland, OH

 

take it up with your dad

When we moved to a new neighborhood, my daughter became fast friends with a little girl down the street who lived there half the time with her father and stepmother (the other half with her mother).

“Who’s my stepmother?” Sophie asked me.

I told her she didn’t have one.

She got ticked. “Yes, I do! I have to! Just tell me—who is my stepmother?” She kept at it, on and on, as if I were hiding a family member from her.

It’s not as if we don’t have all sorts of configurations of families in our lives. I didn’t know why Sophie was so enamoured of the idea of having a stepmother (other than she just liked the woman). As weird as it was for me, though, I’m glad the Cinderella story is finally being overshadowed.

—Janet White, Torrence, CA

 

birds, bees, cookies

Maybe you didn’t know this: If you let your stomach get too fat, your body makes a baby out of it. The fat. This is also why babies are fat.

—Becca Lewis, Seattle, WA

 

the olden days

My daughter knew that her grandfather flies small planes. She learned in preschool about Amelia Earhart. She doesn’t, however, know timelines very well. I got a note home from her teacher that my daughter insisted that her very own grandfather is the one who taught Amelia Earhart how to fly. (Quite a feather in his cap, no?) It took weeks for her to entertain the possibility that Grandpa is not actually over one hundred years old, although she still feels certain that they knew each other.

—Liz Fine, Chicago, IL

 

get the garlic

My sisters and I grew up in a pretty friendly street—friendly except for the neighbors kitty-corner from our house. They were just … odd. They mowed their lawn at night, didn’t say hello or wave even when greeted or waved to, and they kept odd hours.

My older sister and I started referring to the odd neighbors as the vampires. Around this time, the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer was out, and our little sister watched it on HBO over and over again. You see where I’m going with this.

By the end of summer, Mom had intervened and had to convince Monique that the neighbors were not supernatural, just odd. All these years later, they still live in the same house and we still call them vampires.

—Paula Nelson, Vienna, VA

 

how you say…?

Oh. My. God. The pronunciation wars: No, Mama, it’s “jack o’lampern.” No, it’s “popcone.” No, it’s “air conbitioning.”

Really, it’s hard being the stupidest middle-aged woman in the world.

—Margaret Harper-Jackson, Atlanta, GA

 

he checks out

Strangely, we had to convince our preschooler that it was okay that Santa came into the house while we were sleeping. He wasn’t going to take anything. He wasn’t going to hurt himself in the fireplace. The dog wasn’t going to scare him. Santa’s not creepy.

Although, a guy breaking into houses specifically with sleeping children in them? Who won’t let you see him? We saw our daughter’s point.

—Meg Vickers, Pittsburgh, PA

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