Brain,Child - The Magazine for Thinking Mothers

Tell us your story!

The section is Backtalk, and its authors are you. This is how it works: For each issue, we pose a question and then ask you, our readers, to share your favorite anecdotes related to that question. We read them all and publish as many as we have room for in our next issue. The topic for our next issue, Fall 2006:

In the novel 1984, a noise goes off at regular intervals to spoil any chance of forming a coherent thought. Sound familiar? What major work of literature or film best describes your parenting life?

Okay—now your turn.

Send your response by July 31 via email or mail it to P.O. Box 5566, Charlottesville VA 22905. Please include your full name, and your city and state. We'll publish as many responses as we have room for.

—Stephanie and Jennifer

In the last issue, we asked you to tell us about seeing you reflected back at you. That is, when the kid does something cringe-worthy and you know, unfortunately, exactly where that scrap of behavior came from.

The Family Impatient
Here's my cringe-worthy moment: As I cleared the dinner dishes my three-year-old called from the next room, "Mommy, I told you five times to come in the family room with me and I'm running out of patience. Now, come here now. I'll count to three: one, two, three!" Then, in a unique twist, chanted: "Go Mommy, go Mommy, go!" I realized I'm just as demanding with him as he is with me. We both want things done now.
—Karen Schwartz, Plainsboro, NJ

Sense and Sensibility
This morning my barely four-year-old son, refusing to eat his breakfast, said, "I'll have chocolate for breakfast. I will. It's my own sensibility and that's what I want. I'll drive the car, pay for it, bring it back, and eat it." My husband and I looked at each other, slack-jawed for a moment. Then my husband walked passed me, preparing to resume negotiations, patting me knowingly on the back.
—Kristin Hertzog, Boulder, CO

On the Road
I was at a friend's house with my almost three-year-old daughter. We were in her driveway, which was filled with many ride-on toys, and my daughter was on her tricycle, when she rode up behind an (empty) toy car and stopped, waited a second or two, and said, "Move, idiot!" Just like I do, in traffic, daily.
—Leigh Sparacino, Chapel Hill, NC

This Means Trouble
Our backyard is enclosed by an eight-foot-high wooden fence topped with a "cat fence," a barrier made of fishnet that keeps our cats in and other cats out. One afternoon, our rat terrier was barking like a thing possessed. My husband, two-and-a-half-year-old son, and I looked out the back door to see a squirrel trying desperately to circumvent the netting as the dog jumped to nip at the tip of the frightened beast's tail. My son took this all in and breathed, "Oh, shit." My husband's head snapped in my direction. I, none too eager to meet his accusing glare, dashed out the back door to rescue the poor squirrel.
—Clare Wuellner-Tilson, Austin, TX

Who Put a Dime in You?
I recently overheard my four-year-old losing his patience at his two-year-old brother's relentless questions: "Oakley, ugh, I just don't have time for you right now," he sighed, leaving the room and rolling his eyes. He was so exasperated and I was caught between pride and shame as I saw myself mirrored with every sign."
—Jenniey Tallman, Tyro, VA

Kitty Pflag
I recently heard my ten-year old daughter talking to the cat. "I don't mind who your boyfriends are," she said, "as long as they are good cats." Then came the real shocker: "And I don't mind one bit if you have girlfriends either," she told the cat, cuddling her tenderly, "just as long as you are happy. Cat boyfriends or cat girlfriends—it's all the same to me." Well, now at least I know that she does listen sometimes.
—Mary E Whitsell, Moffat, Scotland